Jumat, 18 Februari 2022

Berpisah untuk bersatu.

 Untuk pelangiku. B


Belakangan ini, telah kupikirkan. Aku ingin kamu jadi lebih bahagia.

Saat pagi tiba, saat aku lihat apa yang telah terjadi pada kita sejauh ini.

Di dinginnya malam kitalah api dalam angin, membawa api yang kita nyalakan.

Setiap alasan, setiap kata-kataku yang tak terbalas olehmu, karena dengan semua hal yang telah terjadi

kupikir kita tahu jalan cerita kita masih berlanjut dan tidak akan berhenti. Aku tetap mencintaimu.


Saat malam tiba, dan kutinggalkan prahara pikiranku, berangan-angan tentang bayang senyummu yang terlihat selalu bahagia.

Yah, itu menggerogotiku dari dalam.

Namun pada tujuanku, berpura-pura untuk terlihat bahwa aku sedang baik-baik saja.


Sekarang,

Jika kita tidak berjalan, setidaknya kita bisa bersama.


Selang sebentar, aku ingin mengubah pikiranku

karena ini hanya tidak merasa benar untukku.

Aku ingin membangkitkan semangatmu

Aku ingin melihatmu tersenyum, tapi kusadari itu akan terjadi saat aku harus pergi sementara.


Jadi aku akan pergi....

Tetaplah menanti, aku inginkan penantianmu.

Tidak susah mengatakan bahwa kamu rumahku, tempatku pulang.


Aneípoto grámma

 00.00 GMT+7


Betty Herlina Simangunsong

i wrote this for you, i wrote this as an undelivered message that i cant confess to you.


Its okay being freaked out, its okay you felt depressed, have some hard times, and cry all the time. But, it aint right if you feel you dont have anyone or you dont need anyone. You cant handle this alone, you cant always hurting yourself. I just want to help you always, but i dont know how if you dont say any words to me. I just cant let you down like this. I wanna cheer you up, wanna makes you smile, wanna sunshine your days. You're my everything you know? when i say i love you, i really mean it. The love that i want to marry you, the love that i will risk my life for you, im okay with all of that for your happiness. You exposed that you have 'that' depression, YOU THINK I DONT KNOW HOW YOU FEEL? I KNOW AND I WANT HELP YOU OUT, BECAUSE I HAVE SAME MAJOR DEPRESSION.

I just want you to be fine, to be alright.

I always think that i cant be your cure, bcs you never want to have conversation with me when you tired or depressed. But im begging you babe. Let me help you, let me try my best for you. And i begging you to rely on me, make me your own diary. Dont ever thinking that i dont want to know your stories or your problems. THAT IS ALL I WANT FROM YOU.

Im sorry always make you hassled, but right now please. Please make me feel hassles :)

You was tell me that i wasnt get my rainbow from God, no! i already got you :)

You're my rainbow, my precious, and the apple of my eye


so, be strong babe... I want you to survive

never hesitate to ask my help


for the rest of my life, i will always love you by :)


ps. GE <3

Kamis, 17 Februari 2022

Dekaochtó Fevrouaríou

long time no see, idk how i can forgot that i have this blog hahahahaha
believe me, i have long story to tell about.
so many journeys ive thru to, i even cant speak it up. 

maturity takes me on another level, it pulls me up. Someday i felt broke and want die instead of surviving, universe helps me out and pass thru. Im so grateful that i still live until now(eventho im the most wanted person by people who wants to kill me XD). Even sometimes i cant accept my own self, universe still accepted me, they send me so many things that i loved, it makes me stronger than before.

Broken, sad, anger, madness, emptiness has fulfill me in few years. I have no emotion, no empathy, careless, and being bad to everyone. I felt guilty already and i cant fixed it, i just dont know how to react this condition. Day by days, month by months, year by years i just thinking abt ended my own life.
Until..
SHE comes..........
SHE makes me forgot about that, SHE makes me think about surviving all this kind of shit.

aahh, i feel like im about to collapse when i met her. She's to perfect for me.
She bring me joy, happiness, laugh, comfort, and careful that i was wanted for entire my life. My world has changes in just a seconds, i felt like im a different person right now "this is not old you" that was what im thinking that time.